TO CHOOSE OR NOT TO CHOOSE

To Choose or Not to Choose

You can't force yourself to choose before you are ready.
If you do, you will probably have regrets.

Be patient with yourself and learn to accept
all of the voices within your psyche.

You don't have to act on any of these voices.
Just listen to them and see what they need to say to you.

Accept your ambivalence and it will move when it is ready.
Guidance and direction will come when it's time.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

CONFLICT OR AMBIVALENCE

Conflict or Ambivalence

To push for a decision in the face of conflict or ambivalence
is a way of punishing yourself or others.
Don’t try to force a decision
when you aren’t ready to make one.

Instead, embrace both sides of the conflict.
Acknowledge all the things you want
about the job or the relationship
and all of the things that make you want to run away.

Get your psychic arms around all of it.
Relax and breathe through your anxiety and fear.
Take the pressure off.
Be with it all of it in a compassionate way.

This brings a peaceful acceptance,
from which clarity springs when it is time.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

LETTING GO

Letting Go

When something in your life is not working,
you try to fix it. Then, if that doesn't work,
you may pretend for a while that it's fixed
even though you know it isn't.

Finally, you realize that your heart
just isn't in the job or the relationship.
That's when you are ready to let go of it.

Letting go is an act of substantial courage.
There is always some degree of pain
in the release of someone or something
that once brought you joy and happiness.

You will have to be patient and mourn the loss.
But when your mourning is over,
you will see things differently.

As the old dies, the new is born.
The phoenix rises from the ashes of destruction.
If you stay centered in your life
while the fire burns around you,
opportunities you never could have dreamed of
will begin to reveal themselves.


From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

RELEASE FROM PRISON OF CO-DEPENDENCY

Release from Prison of Co-dependency

If you are getting three hot meals
and a bed to sleep in,
you don’t want to talk about freedom.

It doesn’t matter that someone else plans your day:
tells you when to eat, when to exercise
and when to go to sleep.
It doesn’t matter that the door to your room
is locked every night.

The idea of living without these amenities
is frightening to you.
You don’t know how you would survive
outside your cell.

But consider this:
one day the guard is going to come
and unlock the door
and tell you it’s time to leave.

And you will have to leave,
whether you want to or not.

Under these circumstances,
there is only one question you must ask
and it’s not “what time is breakfast served?”
It is “Are you ready for that day
and, if not, why not?”


From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com