LOVE IS ...

“Love is the absence of judgment.”

― Dalai Lama XIV

UNITY IN DIVERSITY

Unity in Diversity

When we look for agreement in the world we live in,
we find factionalism and conflict.

Only when we stop looking for agreement
and start accepting our differences

do we experience the core equality
that unites us as human beings.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

UNDERSTANDING IS THE FIRST STEP TO ACCEPTANCE

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

TO CHOOSE OR NOT TO CHOOSE

To Choose or Not to Choose

You can't force yourself to choose before you are ready.
If you do, you will probably have regrets.

Be patient with yourself and learn to accept
all of the voices within your psyche.

You don't have to act on any of these voices.
Just listen to them and see what they need to say to you.

Accept your ambivalence and it will move when it is ready.
Guidance and direction will come when it's time.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

BRICK-BY-BRICK

STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE

Stop trying to change the people you love and change yourself! Stop trying to change people who take your money but will not take your advice. You will only drain your own mental, spiritual, emotional and financial reserves. The truth is...people change when they are sick and tired of being sick and tired or hit rock bottom.

If you are dealing with addiction or irresponsible behavior from grown adults ~ protect your wallet and your mind. It does not mean you do not love them. Your attempts to help may only delay what is inevitable. Allow them to take the journey they have chosen for themselves. Choose to let go of the guilt and be at peace. You may require counseling or emotional support to stop being an enabler. If necessary, give yourself some distance so that you can stop being used or manipulated because they know that you care and you love them. You have the right to enjoy a guilt-free, happy and productive life. Commit yourself to changing the only person you really can - YOU!! You have GREATNESS within you!!

LES BROWN

CONFLICT OR AMBIVALENCE

Conflict or Ambivalence

To push for a decision in the face of conflict or ambivalence
is a way of punishing yourself or others.
Don’t try to force a decision
when you aren’t ready to make one.

Instead, embrace both sides of the conflict.
Acknowledge all the things you want
about the job or the relationship
and all of the things that make you want to run away.

Get your psychic arms around all of it.
Relax and breathe through your anxiety and fear.
Take the pressure off.
Be with it all of it in a compassionate way.

This brings a peaceful acceptance,
from which clarity springs when it is time.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

YOUR ENERGY IS YOUR CHOICE

CUT THE NONSENSE

Cut The Nonsense

Refuse to accept any more nonsense from yourself. Refuse to settle for the same old excuses, draining thought patterns, destructive habits.

You deserve more. You deserve a life filled with the best you have to give it.

You don’t have to take any more abuse from your own thoughts and actions. You wouldn’t take it from anyone else, so you certainly don’t need to allow it from yourself.

Decide right now to feel empowered because you are empowered. Grab the control you’ve always had access to, and use it in crafting a life of excellence.

The difficult truth is you can do a whole lot more good in this life than you’ve ever done. Get yourself on the side of that truth, as inconvenient and uncomfortable as it may be.

Let your love overpower your fear. Cut the nonsense, and endure whatever is necessary to live the greatness you know you have.

— Ralph Marston

MIRRORS

Mirrors

When two people are judging or blaming
you don't have communication; you have attack.

When you try to fix other people or they try to fix you,
you are probably both projecting.

Each of you will be mirroring to the other
a part of him or herself s/he does not want to look at.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

CHOOSE TO ACT, INSTEAD OF REACTING

Sometimes life steps in and you simply must deal with it. How you see your life, your situation and circumstances that you cannot control or change, is determined by your point of view. Decide to be a positive, loving person.

Choose to act, instead of reacting, especially when surrounded by drama, chaos and stress. You are stronger and more courageous than you may feel at times. You have the power to find peace, acceptance and courage in the worst of circumstances. Take the high road and deal with it. You have GREATNESS within you!


LES BROWN

THE FRUIT OF LABOR

The Fruit of your Labor

Don't have unrealistic expectations
of how or when your needs will be met.

If you ask for an apple, and an apple comes back,
it doesn't mean that you are God's favorite child.

It just means that it's apple season.
Be happy. Celebrate your good fortune.

If you asked for an apple, and you get a banana,
you can have two attitudes.

One is: "At least it's a fruit!"
The other is: "God doesn't like me
because he sent me a banana and I hate bananas."

If you want something bad enough,
getting a banana won't stop you.
But most of us don't know that.

Nine out of ten of us throw the banana back
and then slip on the peel!

Remember, if it's banana season and you need an apple,
you might have to be patient and wait for apple season!

Are you willing to wait?
How much do you really want an apple?
You see, this is completely about you.
It has nothing to do with anyone else!


From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

WHEN FIGHTING STOPS

When Fighting Stops

Progress happens when fighting stops. Accept this moment, these conditions, the people around you, and move forward.

Change is essential, unavoidable, and positive change is the result of a positive perspective. Rather than fighting against what is, work to transform it into something more beneficial for everyone.

Life is not perfect, and will never be. Yet within the imperfection is great beauty, much power, value and fulfillment.

You won’t find a perfect solution to every problem, yet you can successfully address each problem. Get good things done not by striving to make everything perfect, but by working around the imperfections.

Enjoy the moment without trying to force the joy. Let it be what it is, and feel the immense power of not having to fight it.

It is by gracefully joining in life’s flow that you can offer your own positive influence. Practice acceptance, and point all your power in a good and useful direction.


— Ralph Marston

JUST TO BE ALIVE IS A GRAND THING

“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”

― Agatha Christie

"THIS IS A PROBLEM I WANT TO HAVE."

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. 

Why is this? 

Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. 

But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. 

And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. 

Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it's got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

"I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.” 

― Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe

DANCE OF ACCEPTANCE

The Dance of Acceptance

Acceptance is a life-long dance.
You get better at it the more you do it.
But you never dance perfectly.

Sometimes you get tired
and you proclaim "I shall dance no more."
But then, unexpectedly, you fall in love,
or someone makes you a business offer you can't refuse.

No matter how hard you try, you can't stop the dance.
Mistakes are part of the dance.
But some people don't know this.

Their business fails or their partner leaves them
and they blow their brains out.
They play for very high stakes.

Sometimes we take the dance a little too seriously.
We forget that we are here to learn.

We need to lighten up, stand back,
and take some small pleasure in the dance itself.

If we don’t learn to laugh at our mistakes
and imperfections and those of others,
our journey becomes heavy and oppressive.

The more unhappy you are,
the harder the dance becomes,
because you must dance with your unhappiness.
That's why acceptance is so important.
The more you accept life as it unfolds,
the easier the dance becomes.


From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

WHEN THE TRUTH HURTS

When The Truth Hurts

When the truth hurts, that’s when you better pay attention. In each painful truth is opportunity for new strength.

Those who agree when they know you are wrong are doing you no favor. Listen instead to those who care enough to tell the truth even when you don’t want to hear it.

If you run from the truth it will soon overwhelm you. If you fight against the truth, you will lose.

Choose instead to face the truth. Learn from it, do what you must to align yourself with it, and grow stronger.

When it hurts to hear the truth, be thankful. Because you’ve been given the opportunity to avoid much more pain later on.

Get yourself on the side of truth, whatever it may be. The more the truth hurts, the more it can help you.


— Ralph Marston

SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

― Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

TWO WAYS YOU CAN DEAL WITH FEAR

There are two ways that you can deal with fear:

1. Deny your fear and pretend that you are not afraid.
2. Admit that you are afraid and face your fear.

The first way takes you round and around
in circles of avoidance and projection.
The second way leads you face to face with yourself.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

HAPPINESS HAPPENS WHEN...