Refraining from Projection
Nothing derails a relationship faster
than frequent excursions into guilt and blame.
Don’t forget the discipline you must bring
to your own life.
You are not always happy.
When you live alone, you have moments
of sadness, self-judgment, fear, anxiety;
you have feelings of unworthiness and failure.
You need to ride out these moments
and hold these thoughts and feelings compassionately
or you cannot function in life.
What makes you think that you won't have to do
the same thing when you are in a relationship?
The truth is you need to be even more compassionate
and responsible when you live with someone else.
That is because your egoic tendency
and that of your partner will be to blame each other
for your negative emotional states.
To refrain from this kind of projection
is one of the greatest challenges of relationship.
From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini