THE REWARDS OF LIFELONG PARTNERSHIP

The Rewards of Lifelong Partnership

As long as there is growth and honesty in a relationship,
it is worthy of our commitment.

That doesn't mean that it's perfect.
Even in the best relationships,
doubts and fears continue to arise.

However, mature couples learn to hold
their doubts and fears with compassion.
They learn to be patient with each other.

In time, the hard shell around their hearts
begins to crack open.

Where fear used to hold them back,
they learn to take baby steps forward.

They learn to stretch out their hands to each other
when one or both of them falter.

They learn to heal together and to trust each other.

And then they experience a gentleness
born of the struggle,
a sweetness born of the pain.

Then there is a twinkle in their eyes
when they look at each other.

It isn’t the same twinkle that was there
when they first met.
It is a different one.
It tells of their journey
through fear and projection
into the heart of acceptance and love.


From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

"THIS IS A PROBLEM I WANT TO HAVE."

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. 

Why is this? 

Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. 

But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. 

And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. 

Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it's got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

"I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.” 

― Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe

EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL BETRAYAL

Emotional and Sexual Betrayal

When love is mutual and you and your partner
are surrendered to each other emotionally,
sex is uplifting and sacred.

But when communication in your relationship
becomes careless and shoddy,
when time is not taken for one-to-one intimacy,
your relationship becomes a shell
in which you both hide.

Energy and commitment disappear from your union,
and sex becomes an act of physical betrayal.

It is not surprising then that one or both of you
may look outside the relationship for satisfaction.

Infidelity is a symptom of your emotional disconnection
from each other.
Unfortunately, it involves another person in the dynamics
and makes it more difficult
for healing and reconciliation to take place.


From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com